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Thursday, July 13th, 2006
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In August, I'm getting together a group to go White Water rafting. So far, I have 2 other people. It would be awesome to get 6ish. If anyone is interested, please e-mail me! empyreallaughter@aol.com
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Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
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Saturday, March 11th, 2006
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So, I think I've classified what my problem is : End Of The World Syndrome.
When something happens that I don't expect or that saddens/upsets me, it seems like it is the end of world. My mind revolves around that one point, analyzing it, over-analyzing it, asking why it happened and what I could have done differently. I worry about it constantly.
How the crap do you fix End Of The World Syndrome?
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 | | The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)
Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.
We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.
Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master
| On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.
More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph
CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: RunMonkeRun |
Well, that bodes well. Unfortunately, most of it is quite true...except the end part. No backrubs for kids. So...I guess I should be cockier?
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First, I answered more questions from the previous post - I will update those soon.
Today, on something of a whim, I went to visit my grandmother. I've been down lately and wanted to get out of the house - while sitting at McDonalds, it occurred to me that I was close to the cemetery that I thought she was at. I was right.
It is strange to me that I still have such strong memories. I don't know why I do, really. My grandmother died when I was 3. Something is left over, though - I can't explain it. When I found her plot, I sat down at just...stared. I cried. I found out a few things I didn't know - first, I had been spelling her name wrong. It is, indeed, Kathryn, not Catherine as I had thought. I also found out that she was born January 9th. If I'm not mistaken...someone ELSE I know was born on that day, as well - someone with the same name. I won't go into coincidences right now, but it did make me say..."Whoa" out load.
I've never understood why people clear off leaves, grass, and dirt off of grave markers...yet, I found myself doing it. I wanted to see the whole thing, but at the same time...well, it is like touching someone's arm to comfort them, or placing a hand on someone's shoulder. That's what it felt like. People talk about feeling the person who has passed away hugging them, or comforting them, or even speaking to them. Nothing like that happened at all - I hoped that it would.
When I arrived home, I started going through our closet of old pictures. I want to find out as much about her as I can, but I'm afraid to ask my mother...I think she would give me this strange look and wonder where all of this is coming from. I wouldn't be able to explain it, because I have no idea.
I found some pictures of my grandmother - not as many as I had hoped. Let me just say - she was a beautiful woman. She looks so much like my mom in certain ways - I guess that is to be expected. Among the pictures, though, I found a WEALTH of stuff from my past. It was amazing to go through it all. I found pictures from my prom, from a trip to Disney when I was six, Christmas pictures - everything. I found pictures of my parents' wedding, their honeymoon, and even pictures from before that.
As I was looking through everything - especially the pictures from when I was younger - I think I felt more loved than I ever have in my life. My parents are so, so wonderful. They are absolutely amazing people. I take the gifts I have for granted often - I didn't even realize how great I had it growing up.
And THAT is how my grandmother spoke to me - not with words, not with ghostly images or phantom touches, but with appreciation. I wouldn't have looked through these pictures if I wouldn't have gone to see her.
I plan to scan a lot of the pictures in to my compy - I'll likely post a lot of them. Some of them are of you guys, actually. I have a ton of my brother and I that I have to show you. So - keep an eye out.
To my grandmother - I love you, very very much. I can't thank you enough. I wish I had known you longer than I did. One day I will.
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Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
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Who posted these, by the way? I want to know!
1. What person (somebody you actually know or have known) has had the greatest influence in shaping who you are and how you think?
I really don’t know! There have been so many people that have taught me so many things. Lately, Sarah, John, Chris, and Sean have been my biggest influences. Sarah has changed my perspective on nearly everything in my life – mostly, love and myself. John has shown me that I will always be fine, no matter what happens, and that the only reason I have so much drama in my life is because I let it exist there. Chris has always been someone I’ve looked up to and, though I haven’t seen him much lately, there are things that he has taught me that I will always remember. Sean is always willing to talk when I need someone to vent to, which is – often. We share a lot of the same views on a lot of the same things and he always gives solid, good advice.
2. Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Fifty?
Five years – I imagine that I will still be at UEI, but I will be going to school and will be living on my own. Hopefully, I’ll meet a really nice girl, too :) I’ll actually be working on a real book, as well.
Ten years – I will have several children’s books published, I will be teaching, and I will be happily married.
Fifty years – I will be looking back to this questionnaire, appreciating how much I have been given and how my life has taken so many unexpected turns. I will be playing poker with my friends, still talking about how Joe threw an eraser at Mr. Hromco (is that how you spell his name), laughing about Chucky-Chuck, and loving every minute of it.
3. What things do you like most about yourself?
My favourite thing about myself is being unique. I believe that I have a very unique view of the world and of people. I think “outside the box”.
4. What things do you like least about yourself?
I hate how lazy I am. I hate how I don’t follow through with my dreams. I hate how I know that this is the reason that unhappiness is in my life. It is my own fault and I rarely have the courage to accept it.
5. Name three things you want to accomplish before you die.
I want to change someone’s life for the better. I want to make someone appreciate life, to appreciate happiness, to appreciate waking up in the morning.
I want to write books – lots and lots of books.
I want to have children that will change the world.
6. Name the one thing/idea that sexually turns you on the most.
Spontaneous sex is incredibly mind-blowing. I love it, love it, love it when I am playing a video game, or talking on the phone, or just…doing something that isn’t making me think about sex and then WHAM. Sex. Wow.
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1. Which is more powerful, "10" because it is bigger or "1" because it is more simplified? Why?
I think the number one is more powerful – it seems to stand on it’s own, it does not need anything else because it is complete unto itself. My beliefs center around everything being “one”, so the number has a good deal of significance for me.
2. If you had to pick a fundamental element to represent your spirit, which would it be, and why? (pick any element from any system of thought)
When I was younger, I always associated myself with Earth. I used to only wear Earthtones (which was actually a coincidence). Now, however, I associate myself with Water and Yang.
I associate myself with Water because it represents spirituality – I consider myself to be a very spiritual person. Water also represents passive power – it can be absolutely calm or it can be immensely destructive. All forms of water have beautiful sounds and smells – the ocean, the rain, even the snow. I picture my soul as “water” in many ways.
I used to believe that Life was about finding a balance between Dark and Light, Good and Bad, Yin and Yang. As I’ve grown spiritually, I realize that Yin and Yang are only what we perceive them to be. There does not need to be a balance unless we chose for there to be. I associate myself with Yang because it is alive – it is energetic and flowing and moving. To me, it represents grown and change – it represents being alive.
3. If you had to pick an animal to represent your spirit, which would it be, and why?
My spirit is a Monkey. When I see monkeys, I am amazed at how intelligent they seem. I remember seeing one at the zoo and it looked right at me – I was literally taken aback at how intense his eyes were. You could tell that he was thinking, trying to figure out what he was seeing. Monkeys seem very childlike to me in many aspects – not as in “young”…but moreso “carefree”, “curious”, and…”pure”. I believe my spirit is much the same way.
4. Would you consider yourself 'Subjectively Firm' or 'Objectively Flexible?' Explain.
I believe that I am ‘Subjectively Firm’. I am very confident with my beliefs – but only in as much as I view them. I believe that other people see the world a different way and that their beliefs are just as valid and real to them as mine are to me.
5. What is the deepest spiritual experience or revelation that YOU have ever had? How did it change you?
I can honestly say that I have not had a “revelation” in my life – not one that I can vividly remember. There are, however, two “events” that are probably the closest I’ve come :
The first was after reading the Conversations With God books. I have never felt so loved and so complete as I did after reading them through. It was as though someone had taken my beliefs and squished them all together into an easy to understand format. Before that, I was “grasping at straws” in a way – I knew snippets of what I believed, but I never really put it all together. After reading CWG, I felt like the puzzle had all been put together.
The other happened yesterday. I was sitting in my car during lunch at work with my head on my steering wheel. I remember taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I’ve had a lot of stress in my life and have not been dealing with it as well as I would like. I was daydreaming yesterday, trying to just forget about everything that was going on, when I saw myself standing on this massive mountain, overlooking other mountains and a large forest. I remember thinking about all of the various things I had been worrying about and, as I thought of each one, wisps of ethereal “smoke” trailed from my head into my hands. I began to shape all of the “thoughts” into a ball. When they were all there, the dark ball of thoughts solidified into an egg. A huge flame erupted around me so I couldn’t see out at all…and as it vanished I saw hundreds – millions – of souls. Some were doing the same as I, standing on the mountain and collecting thoughts. Others were floating in the sky, floating out of the woods – everywhere you could imagine. It was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen and it was extremely comforting.
6. What is your favorite song, and why? (I'm not talking about something that really sounds cool or anything like that. I mean think of the song that really connects with something in you to such an extent that you lose track of time whenever you hear it.)
Flames by VAST. It is the most sensual, beautiful song that I’ve ever heard. It is one of the only songs I would call sexy. It is the song that imagine singing to the girl I marry and I do so in my mind very often.
7. Bonus Question: (Sorry, I just have to...) Why exactly DO you wear socks with your sandals?
Because it is hip, man. All the cool kids do it. You don’t even KNOW!
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1. I'm asking everyone this, if you were stranded on a desert island and could only take 3 things with you, what would they be?
This is actually a very difficult question. One thing that I know I would bring, without any thought, is Sarah. I’d be okay without anything else.
2. How many girlfriends have you had and can you remember all thier names?
Krissy
Amanda
Devon
Chrissy
Jessica
Liz
Kristen
Nicole
Kat
Michelle
Gin
Lisa
Sarah
3. What pet have you always wanted?
I really, really want a pet monkey.
4. If you could go back in time and change one thing from happening what would you change?
As much I ponder doing so, I really wouldn’t change anything at all. Honestly. In the spirit of the question, however, I would go back and not have cheated on Jessica Forsythe. I don’t think I will ever stop feeling guilty about that.
5. You get the ability to put together the best concert ever, what 5 bands(past and present) would you put in the line-up?
Pink Floyd
VAST
Counting Crows
The Streets
Great Big Sea
6. Due to an illness you must have a body part removed, which part would you be ok with losing?
I don’t think I would mind losing my pinky toe too much.
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Saturday, February 18th, 2006
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This is great - stolen from C-Lo.
YOU CAN ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
__________________________________________________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless
__________________________________________________
I swear to answer them 100% truthfully
__________________________________________________
All questions can be COMPLETELY confidential, if you like - send them to my email...
or post them in the comments, if you don't care.
__________________________________________________
[[[Repost this to see what others ask you...]]]
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Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
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Have you ever had one of those moments that make you really appreciate everything that you have in your life? Usually they hit at moments of depression – right when you are starting to wonder why everything turns out the way it does, and why the one thing you really, really wanted is the one thing that you aren’t going to get. That’s when you realize that you don’t need it after all. You realize that your life is more than just that one thing, that you’ve been doing fine without it after all. Your entire perception changes, like someone lifted a curtain to the window and now you can see outside the walls.
Our worst enemy is always ourselves. No one can berate, discourage, destroy, abuse, and belittle as well as we can to ourselves…because no one knows your secrets, your desires, your vices as well as you do, and no one can dislike you for them like you can.
So, it comes down to a choice. Do you choose to focus on the negative or focus on the positive? Do you define yourself by your mistakes or how you grow from them? I’ve been defining myself by “not being good enough”, by trying to change who I am to make other people happy. I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m going to try not to.
I’m good enough and I can see why things happen the way they do. It’s really quite obvious when I look outside my “monkey sphere”. It’s a beautiful world and I’m going to appreciate it – and you – more. I always take things for granted and I really want to stop.
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Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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Yay?
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Saturday, November 26th, 2005
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The last two days have been nothing sort of...different. I've learned more about myself, my friends, life....in two days than I have in months. Kind of funny how that works, I guess. Not funny, just...well, the ironic funny, not the ha ha funny.
I've realized that pushing too hard can sometimes be worse than not pushing at all. I've done so many things wrong lately and I'm just starting to realize it. No, that isn't a crack at myself, it is an honest realization. In trying to show that I care, I think I've actually shown that I'm desperate. Desperate for attention, desperate for SOMEONE to be around. And because I was so worried about doing something wrong, I forgot to just...be ME. Instead of talking to someone that I care very much about, I kept looking for answers from other people. The answers were always in front of me...I just...failed to see them. I'm going to stop doing that.
I hope it isn't too late. I don't think it is - I'm going to actually have faith this time. In myself and in her. I should have done that a long time ago. I thought that certain things in my life had to change before I could really be happy with it. Heh - how very wrong I was. It is only my perception that needed to change...my understanding that needed to change. And...it has.
It is the people that we love the most that are hurt by our foolish mistakes. It is also those people that forgive us and grow with us through them all. I don't like HOW I got the lesson...but I definitely needed the lesson. Next time, I hope it can come without hurting someone...especially someone I care about so much.
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Sunday, November 13th, 2005
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Thanks to everyone that replied to my religion-questioning post. I really appreciate the help, the comments, and the critique. I feel much better about it now, after talking things over, and I'm not worried at all. I shouldn't have been in the first place.
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Thursday, November 10th, 2005
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Yo-han told me to :P
Three names I go by:
1. Smurf
2. Jopshua
3. Mr. Potter
Three screen names I have had:
1. EmpyrealLaughter
2. TalesoftheSidhe
3. Trundletrots
Three physical things I like about myself:
1. My head is normal shaped.
2. My eyes.
3. My multicoloured chin fuzz.
Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1. My chicken legs. Ass.
2. Hair in places that it fucking doesn't belong.
3. Toes. Toes are gross.
Three parts of my heritage:
1. Irish
2. English
3. American
Three things that scare me:
1. Darkness without other people.
2. Ghosts.
3. Aliens.
Three of my everyday essentials:
1. Waking up.
2. Listening to Talk Radio.
3. Mountain Dew.
Three of my favorite musical artists:
1. Vast
2. Counting Crows
3. Pink Floyd
Three of my favorite songs:
1. "St. Robinson And His Cadillac Dream" - Counting Crows
2. "Flames" - Vast
3. "Land Down Under" - Men At Work
Three things I want in a relationship:
1. Honesty
2. Love
3. Confidence
Three LIES:
1. Our government is a terrible evil force trying to take over the world.
2. Religion is for idiots.
3. Video games makes people kill people.
Three TRUTHS:
1. Laughter is the best medicine.
2. Love can conquer all.
3. I am nothing without my friends.
Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
1. Eyes
2. Hair
3. Jumblees
Three of my favorite hobbies:
1. Video Games
2. Walking in a park
3. Da Intanet
Three things I want to do really badly now:
1. Fly.
2. Feel comfortable with my future.
3. To go play some more FFXI.
4. Get away.
Three careers I've considered:
1. Teaching
2. Computer related stuff
3. Video Game tester/creator
Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. Ireland
2. Chiiiiiina
3. Colo-freaking-rado
Three kid's names I like:
1. Aeryhn
2. Ascott
3. Sebastian
Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Get married, have children, and maintain both as healthy relationships.
2. Help someone better his or her life or change that person's life for the better.
3. Write children's books.
Three ways that I am stereotypically a boy:
1. I have a penis.
2. I don't have a vagina.
3. I smell bad sometimes.
Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I am not afraid to show my emotions.
2. I like to hug people.
3. I like sappy movies.
Three celebrity crushes:
1. Nicole. Kidman.
2. Nicole Kidman
3. Nicole Kidman is awesome.
Three people you want to see carry on this meme:
1. Timberly
2. Marshall Marsalas
3. Haney
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Saturday, October 29th, 2005
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Holy. Crap. It is almost here.
The release date is set for late November/early December. I thought this was still a few years in coming.
Anyhow - here is a link with various features that will be added. It sounds pretty impressive. Of note :
The Dark Brotherhood. Awesome.
Mounts!
Hoods! And robes! And hooded robes!
And best of all? No fucking Cliff Racers.
There are some unfortunate things they've left out :
Crafting
Capes/Cloaks
Dual Wielding
Mark and Recall?! What the hell?
No Thrown? I guess that isn't too bad, considering it has always sucked.
They might be adding in the option to break down doors, Daggerfall style. Bwahaha.
A few things of note :
-Expanded Character Creation Process: The new character selection has gotten a complete overhaul from the one in Morrowind. You will now use sliders to pick custom age, face, brow, cheeks, chin, eyes, forehead, jaw, mouth, nose, skin tone, beard, eyes, eyebrows, lips, and nose. There will be no ability to change body type (as this could result in clipping issues). Additional Note: There will be no modeled beards/facial hair. There will only be beard/facial hair shaders, so you will look like you have a heavy 5 o’clock shadow.
Bad. Ass.
-New Persuasion Interface: The new interface is almost a mini-game in itself, but not really on if you think about it (just a new way of looking at it). The new interface has an option for Boast, Admire, Joke, and Bully and you will have to watch the subtle cues on the NPC’s face to see which one will work the best (ok, maybe a little like a mini-game). There is also a button for Demand as well as one for Bribe.
I've been disappointed in Bethesda's claims at Social Skills, so I'll hold off until I see this one.
-Radiant AI: NPC’s will have 24/7 schedules, such as closing their shop at night, or locking their door when they go to bed. They also have full facial expressions and will react accordingly to what race they are talking to (High Elves would have a lower disposition to a Wood Elf, than say another High Elf). Additional Note: It has been said that NPC’s will have many more parameters that go into decisions that they choose. Just a couple of them are confidence and responsibility.
Bad. ASS!
-Yielding: To balance the improved combat and help solve the essential NPC issue, the yield system has been implemented. So if in a fight with any NPC, there is a chance they might yield (based on their disposition, will to fight, etc.). You also have the chance to yield yourself (just by clicking on the NPC during combat) and they can either accept it or continue to fight (based on the same stats above). Additional Note: Creatures will never accept if you try to yield to them. Also see the Forced Reloads and Improved Combat footnotes.
Definitely a cool idea, if it works. Sort of.
More to come? Possibly. I'm reading as much as I can about it so that my hopes may be dashed upon the rocks, as they are with these types of things. Still...Elder Scrolls. Yeah. Good stuff.
And damn it - stop making my cat people walk like they have too much anal sex. Just...make them walk like a biped and....problem solved.
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Thursday, October 27th, 2005
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I've figured it out.
Bloody. Hell.
It has been so obvious and I've just ignored it all these years.
The reason that I can't keep a successful relationship...
...is that I didn't forward all of those stupid fucking spam mails. I've been cursed to have bad relationships for like...10 years! Shit! I'll be alright as long as all of those forwards don't stack. Otherwise...I'm probably screwed for the rest of eternity. And that would blow. Ass.
Curse you all! For each forward that you've sent me...I'll kill you!!
Have a pleasant day, everyone.
This message has nothing to do with the fact that I am completely overdosed on Mountain Dew.
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Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
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 | You scored as Acanthus. Acanthus, also called "enchanters," are often thought of as the archetypal "divine fools," for they seem to achieve their goals by not trying or by waiting for things to come to them. But this over-reliance on luck can be to their detriment, as they spurn patience and plunge themselves into situations that are perhaps best tackled instead with some degree of foresight and strategy. They are the wild cards of the Awakened world, both loved and hated by others for it.
Acanthus | | 78% | Thyrsus | | 73% | Magistos | | 73% | Moros | | 48% | Obrimos | | 40% | </td>
Mage: The Awakening: Paths
created with QuizFarm.com |
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Friday, October 7th, 2005
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Druid
22% Combativeness, 60% Sneakiness, 70% Intellect, 66% Spirituality
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Sneaky, cunning, and spiritual: You are a Druid!
Druids work with nature to cast their spells and favor balance over
extremes. They're shapeshifters, capable of taking the forms of natural
creatures. While they don't always deal well with people, they do have
animal companions to come to their aid.
You are probably intelligent, spiritual, and more than a little
deceptive. Fortunately, your lack of violent tendencies means you are
also likely to be level-headed. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 5% on Combativeness | | You scored higher than 83% on Sneakiness | | You scored higher than 61% on Intellect | | You scored higher than 90% on Spirituality |
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Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
pickupstyx's journal
bored.
pleased.
blah.